Ass. #58: We are asking for a voluntary donation of $100 from each associate to cover holiday gifts to non-secretarial staff.

Ass. #67: What happens if I opt out?

Ass. #58: I send a firm-wide email denouncing you for being a cheap bastard.

Ass. #67: Here’s my $100.

Ass. #58: Darn it. I wanted to send that email so bad.