Dover: As the firm’s Professional Responsibility counsel, I am announcing a new anti-sexual harassment initiative. We’re banning alcohol from this year’s holiday party.

Schmidt: That’s bullshit! We can’t let our lawyers drink or they might sexually harass someone?

Dover: We’re also banning music because studies show a link between dancing and sex. And lastly, there’ll be no flirting, no joking, no hugging, no smiling, no personal conversation whatsoever.

DuPont: So…the holiday party will have no alcohol, no music, and we can only talk about work?

Dover: Hm, when you put it that way…I say we might as well replace the holiday party with a 4-hour ethics CLE!